Did you ever feel like everyone's ganging up on you?

I know I have recently. I don't know who originally said it, but I heard it first in a Billy Crockett song - "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they really aren't out to get you". Sometimes, that rings true. You just feel like you can do nothing right. You can't please anyone. You can't even breathe correctly without someone getting offended. In the last few weeks, I've had five separate occasions (two work, three personal) where conversations or circumstances just kind of spiraled out of control. Getting blamed for things I didn't do and had no control over. Being confronted over the stupidest stuff.
Now, if you know me, you know I'm typically "the nice guy". I'm easy going, friendly. I rarely start a fight. Why? Everything's cool. The problem with that is that if something bad does happen to you, and you need to stand up for yourself or defend a position, you can't. You don't know how. That's been my problem throughout my life. I'm always afraid if I'm pushed over the edge, I can't trust myself with my response. I may get violent, irrational. Ungodly. Or, I'll make a snap decision that I'll pay for years down the line. In turn, I bottle up my anger and rage. It simmers somewhere under the surface, just below a boil. Then, when acted upon, it fires up to nine billion degrees. That's why a little spilled milk by a child can lead to punching a hole in the wall. A man doesn't have a rage problem. It's no problem - he's GOOD at it. The problem is the outlet. Learning how to stand up, with self-control, and defend your position with righteousness.
Now, of course, this doesn't mean you should get into petty arguments with everyone you disagree with. Scripture warns us to put aside petty squabbles. And, if you are really wrong, it doesn't mean you should try to win a battle of persuasion to make people think you're right. If you're wrong, bend over and take it like a man!
Example - I do a monthly in-service at a retirement home where I check people's hearing. This past month, out of four appointments I had, the care staff at the facility only brought one down to my exam room on time. Very frustrating. One of them was taken to lunch! In finding this out, I told the staff to make sure she hurries up, and I'll see her when she's done shoveling her food down. Well, it was more than an hour later and I was already into my next appointment, and the lunch-eating lady winds up at my door. Nothing I can do. She'll have to reschedule.
The activities coordinator comes into my room a few minutes later. I think she's ready to apologize for the mix-ups. No, she's in the room to blame ME for the problem. "This is your problem, because you told her to eat lunch first. You never should just change the schedule. You should talk to the staff first.". She's talking to me like I'm seven years old. And ignoring the fact that it was HER staff that brought her to lunch instead of my office in the first place. But, here I am, sitting in the principal's office after throwing spit wods at Pauline Zanger (obscure 6th grade reference). It's hard enough to be spoken to like that, but (and this is going to sound sexist) when a woman does it, it's even worse. It's like you're getting your testicles ripped off. That alone can stir up great amounts of anger, not to mention the false accusations.
So, what do you do? Well, the religious left-wing progressives would say, "It's simple. Turn the other cheek." Excuse me? "Sure, Jesus faced all sorts of accusations, but he never got angry at anyone. So we should not get angry at anyone, no matter how wrongly they treat us.". Really? So, in Luke 12, when Jesus is scolded by the Pharisees for healing the woman on the Sabbath and he stares them down and calls them hypocrites, then in the next chapter calls the Chief Priest an "old fox", then later in Matthew's gospel brings down the seven woes upon the religious leaders in a tone that is just dripping with venom, and I haven't even mentioned those famous temple tables yet...this is "turning the other cheek"? Eldredge wrote about this in Wild at Heart -

"We have really misused that verse. You cannot teach a boy how to use his strength by stripping him of it. Jesus was able to retaliate, believe me. But He chose not to. And yet we suggest (my note: in reference to playground bullies, of whom I always ran away from, never standing my ground) that a boy who is mocked, shamed before his fellows, stripped of all power and dignity should stay in that place because Jesus wants him there? You will emasculate him for life. From that point on all will be passive and fearful. He will grow up never knowing how to stand his ground, never knowing if he is a man indeed. Oh yes, he will be courteous, sweet even, deferential, minding all his manners. It may look moral, it may look like turning the other cheek, but it is merely weakness. You cannot turn a cheek you do not have. Our churches are full of such men." (p. 79)

Like I told Delray, my worship leader and pastor's wife, "God is teaching me not to curl up and be abused. If I get spit at, I need to know I can stand up and spit back." Now, again, I must be on the side of truth and righteousness. And I'm not advocating being a Spirit-filled vigilante. But we have the right not to be spoken to condescendingly, especially by the world. DOUBLE ESPECIALLY by other Christians. We can speak up and say, "That is wrong!" and not be labeled judgmental.
Paul said in Ephesians, "Be angry, but do not sin". There is nothing wrong with anger in and of itself. It is a God-given emotion. Anger motivates. Anger makes us seek justice for the wronged. Anger is a passionate tool. But you don't throw out the tool because the one who wields it does so inappropriately. You give it to the craftsman. A knife can perform surgery or it can kill. Pick the person you want to execute the right one.
So, what did I do with that annoying lady? I refused to agree with her. That would give her power. The conclusion she was coming to was wrong. She should not be made to win. So, in as calm a voice as I could, I repeatedly told her my point of view. As she got angrier (because I was not just kneeling down and submitting, like her employees probably do), I kept repeating her statements back to her. When she would make a blind accusation, I would say, "So what you're saying is...". Two reasons: first, maybe she'll actually hear how crazy some of her proposals were and second, so I was sure I was hearing what I was actually hearing. A lot of times, we'll get into arguments with people over miscommunication. Asking the other person what they meant on the spot resolves that. And it also helps in the final step - this week, my boss and I and her boss will be meeting to discuss the situation. Hopefully, if this is a trend, she'll be reprimanded for it. My job is not to punish. It's simply to speak the truth. And I will.
I've always run from confrontation. Don't return a phone call. Don't answer an e-mail. Avoid it. Ignore it. Maybe it'll go away. But God is pulling me out of my comfort zone. He's forcing me to live from the strength He's placed there. Don't be afraid of it. It's the passion that can get a lot of things done. But it's wild now, like a stallion. There's danger, but there's a fierceness to it, too. We need to practice controlling our anger and hostility, so that when we are provoked, we are able to speak the truth without crushing someone's skull. That'd be baaaaad.
Actually, I just thought of another work issue I need to address tomorrow. I think everyone...EVERYONE...is really out to get me. At least I know I trust in the strength He supplies. Bring it on, puppy! Bring it on!