Anticipation

So I’m leaving for Colorado on Wednesday. Five other guys and I are going to spend four days at a ranch in the Rockies, along with 3-400 other guys, growing closer to God. We’ll probably do a little hiking. Repelling - which is kind of like falling off a mountain, just with a rope to protect you against certain doom - is also a potential activity. Most of the time will be devoted to sessions with John Eldredge and his team, leading us in deeper ways to know who God is and how our hearts were designed for the battles we face every day. I assume there will be massive amounts of time where God and I can just do one-on-one time, watching snow covered peaks and, hopefully, clear blue skies.

If you haven’t guessed by the tone of the first paragraph, I’m absolutely geeked up to go this week. On many of the Ransomed Heart message boards, guys talk about how the boot camp is the event of a lifetime. You have to work hard for God not to do deep work in your heart. The more I read, the more excited I get. I am convinced God is going to show me so much and accomplish profound work in areas where I don’t even realize I need work.

Now I’ve been excited about things before. It’s natural to have a sense of expectation for an event that you KNOW is going to powerful spiritually like I know the Boot Camp is going to be. I think in the days leading up to the other events, I was TOO excited. What I mean is I was so focused on God speaking at the special event - “What’s God going to do? Hmmm...I wonder...“ - that I’d take it too far and all but write out God’s plan.

Am I the only one who’s ever done this? Our church had prophetic ministry about five years ago which we were going to be selected for. We were called to fast and pray for the time, which Tricia and I both did. In hopes of fulfilling what were seriously misguided aspirations, I had convinced myself that God was going to use that time to speak to the world how great I was and how I was destined to lead some world-reknown ministry. Boy was it going to be GREAT! Until the two men of God proceeded to spend most of their time ministering to my wife. Tricia received good stuff, don’t get me wrong - they read her mail! But I wanted them to read MY mail! It’s not fair! (insert pouty face here) The basic problem, other than my obvious selfishness and pride, was that I was so geared for what I wanted God to say, I was completely unprepared for what He DID say. It wasn’t until months later that I read the transcript and could really appreciate what God had said and rejoice with my wife.

My foolish expectancy was taking the place of the request I should have been making - "God, speak from Your heart to mine! Your will be done!" But instead, I'd concoct numerous scenes in my mind of how God ought to do His will, to my ultimate satisfaction. I lay my plans on the altar and ask God to bless them. How can I do this? It’s like the scriptural analogy of the pot telling the potter what it’s supposed to be. I’m supposed to presume on God what He’s going to say or do? Crazy! But I think we all do it from time to time. Ultimately, we want to be in control. It’s just simpler for us if we write up the “to-do” list and have God rubber stamp it. But God rarely, if ever, does things the way we want. And we waste so much time deceiving ourselves before and after God speaks, God simply speaks out of obligation, because He promised He would. We don’t seem to really be all that interested in what he has to say. We like our ideas better.

In advance of the Boot Camp, the preparation time has been much different. First, I have NO IDEA what’s coming. This Boot Camp is uncharted territory, literally. I have some generalities, but that’s it. It’s hard to create stories about what’s going to happen without a backdrop to help you. Second, through the web site for the Boot Camp, they gave us guys very specific items for preparation, the Daily prayer and other devotional reading. I have those to concentrate on instead of letting my mnd wander to formulating plots and stories. Third, I’m deliberately asking God to speak; not only about the trip (if He so chooses) but about today! Today is a gift, and I can lose it very easily if I don't focus on it intently. Really, we can lose our grip on ANY day if we’re not focused on what God has put before us. Fourth, tied closely to the third, is that God is speaking! In actively seeking Him, He's been faithful! He has given me deep insights on things going on today. (This blog site being one of them!)

What’s the point? You may have big things in your life - promises, events, plans for specific days and times. We need to not live by the “mile-markers”, but by every single white line in the road. God has very clear direction available for us every day, from His word, His people, and His voice. Let your life in him not be defined by the big show, but by the small rehearsal. Remember Elijah after the thrilling defeat of the prophets of Baal? He went to the mountain expecting God to come across like the weatherman - thunder and lightning and so on. Imagine the prophet’s surprise when God spoke up in the tiniest of voices. Well, isn’t that a fine how do you do? I’ll bet the still small voice was nowhere on Elijah’s radar. God, however, had much different plans. At the time, God needed to reveal to Elijah His care for an individual soul. God could only accomplish that through the little voice. He knows better than you what you need. Do you really believe that?

Be ready for those type of alternate plans. His ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not our thoughts. Leave it at that and let God do what He wants how He wants. Don’t put him in a box. Don’t get too far ahead of Him. Don’t demand your way. Don’t do anything - except listen and believe for each day’s best. He will help you. He will show you His plan. And it will be exactly right.

Well, that’s it for tonight. My next post will be some excerpts form my journaling on the trip. God bless!